


all the pieces of the break, evaporate

by taekachu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (more so towards the end), Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 13:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19702591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taekachu/pseuds/taekachu
Summary: When it's too hard and too late,When I'm too tired to run awayWhen it cant stay the way it was,I need you 'causeYou smash the trouble I can't takeAnd all the pieces of the breakEvaporate, evaporate, evaporatean au in which Mark is suffering from a panic attack and Donghyuck, his anchor, tries his best to take the pain away





	all the pieces of the break, evaporate

**Author's Note:**

> me projecting my current situation onto Mark??? more likely than you think
> 
> inspired by gabrielle aplin's 'evaporate' 
> 
> this isn't proofread and so I'm really sorry for any mistakes
> 
> thank you and happy reading !!

Mark let out a strangled gasp as his throat constricted agonisingly so, his lungs burned, body convulsed- he couldn't breathe. 

He desperately wanted to cry out for help, but he couldn't suck enough air in. Hands trembling, Mark gripped his neck, hard enough to leave dark bruises. His lungs set ablaze as he tightened his hold, knuckles turning white. 

It was if he was drowning, saltwater burning his oesophagus, causing a surge of intense pain to ricochet off his ribs and around his torso as he slipped further and further into the darkness. A kaleidoscope of shadows occupying his vision. 

Mark was sinking, submerged in the raging waves as they pummelled his body, he thrashed hopelessly trying to find leverage of any sort, but his actions only condemned him further, dragging him down, drowning him. 

Squinting, Mark saw the shimmer of sunlight rippling on the water above, teasing him, mocking how vulnerable he was. He reached out, hoping to grasp onto anything, anything to pull him back up, anything to help him breathe again. 

He fell to his knees, nails scratching up his neck only to clamp over his ears, the sound of heart palpitations deafening. 

Mark looked towards the light once more, feeling it's pull, almost as if it was attempting to save him from the cold waters- but it was fading away. 

Choking back a sob Mark lurched forward- he was loosing the light. Desperate to chase after it, Mark tried to move forwards, but everything felt numb. It was as if everything around him was muffled, filtered like some Nordic noir show. 

He reached out once more, almost there, he was almost there, he was doing so well... so well... 

"You're doing so well, Mark, come on, breathe with me, breathe with me Mark" 

Mark felt a weight in his hand, as well as soft rubbing along his thumb. His first reaction was to back away, to swipe manically in the direction of the unknown, the touch burning him, Donghyuck's touch setting him on fire.

In his haze Mark fully intended to push Donghyuck away, knowing that he's not thinking straight, that he can't control his actions and that he doesn't want Donghyuck to see him like this, but instead he finds himself subconsciously pulling on the other boy's hand. Donghyuck's touch burned, but it also anchored him. 

"That's right, inhale..... and exhale... and again Mark you're doing so well, you're almost there, you're doing so well, follow me.." 

Donghyuck spoke slowly as he held Mark's hand, bringing his palm to rest flat against Donghyuck's chest, right over his heart, "Breathe slowly with me Mark, it'll be over soon, you're doing so well" 

Mark felt his hand form a fist, crumpling Donghyuck's shirt as he hung onto the boy for dear life, trying to latch onto every word Donghyuck was saying. He was asking Mark about his meet up with Jeno today, only to then laugh about how he had to entertain Jaemin whilst his boyfriend was away. 

He was trying to distract Mark, and as far as Mark was aware it was working, he could make out Donghyuck's face- his soft caramel hair, his- Mark's- white polo shirt. It was working because it was all familiar, all comforting, but mostly because it was Donghyuck. 

Mark registered how it was easier now to hear the other's voice over the ringing of his own ears, how his vision cleared up, from how he was now gasping for air, feeling like he could finally breathe again. 

"That's it, Markie, that's it, breathe with me, close your eyes and breathe with me"

The breathing, Mark could do, but he wouldn't close his eyes. He was too focused on Donghyuck, Donghyuck's lips, his constellations of moles, that he didn't want to close his eyes and risk loosing such a sight. His vision was improving and so he kept his gaze on Donghyuck, letting the other guide him. 

He didn't even realise that he'd been crying until Donghyuck untangles his hands from Mark's with a comforting squeeze before he begins to wipe the tear stains on the older's cheeks- the pad of his thumb like a feather on Mark's skin. 

Donghyuck asks Mark about Jeno again, and this time he gets a faint response- some mumbling and a nod- but that's enough, that's progress, and so Donghyuck continues whispering words of encouragement, breaking eye contact to then kiss his temple softly, drawing Mark into his chest. 

Mark clings to him, arms circling his boyfriend's figure, finally feeling grounded as he nestles into Donghyuck's arms. 

He's safe. He's okay. 

Donghyuck kisses him again, this time on his forehead, and Mark allows himself to melt, to completely let go, as Donghyuck's secure arm around him holds him steady. 

Mark didn't know how he got back to his and Donghyuck's apartment, the last thing he remembers was leaving Jeno in a hurry after they were discussing their workload and upcoming presentation. His palms sweaty and breathing hollow as he exited their campus' café, not even sure if he picked up his folders. 

He jolts in Donghyuck's hold, suddenly aware that he's not in possession of said folders, and tries to scramble out of Donghyuck's arms. 

Ultimately, he was unsuccessful, although he knew that he was going to be before the idea even really formulated in his head. Donghyuck only sighs softly and threads his fingers through Mark's hair. 

" _Hyuck_? Hyuck I _need_ my folders" Mark doesn't even attempt to move this time, both his actions and his words dripping in exhaustion, "Everything's in there"

All of Mark's work over this year was concealed in those folders- all of his notes were in there, and without all three folders he knew it would be impossible to redo the required work to pass his course. 

Mark swallowed harshly, he had to pass his course, these exams, he _had_ to. He had to finish his degree with solid results, to get that job at the studio he'd been interning at so that he could start earning, start building a stable life for him and Donghyuck. There wasn't any other way, and so he _had_ to find his folders. 

Feeling Mark beginning to get restless once again, Donghyuck plays with the Canadian's fingers, humming as Mark gives into his touch. 

"Don't worry..." He mutters into Mark's hair, his voice soft and indulgent like honey and Mark can't help but hang onto every word. He pulls Mark closer slightly sensing the other starting to spiral once again, and it's only then that Donghyuck concludes the reasoning as to Mark's unexpected panic attack, especially as the older had been doing so well lately, "you left two of them back at the café but Jeno picked them up and has taken them back to his and Jaemin's place- I can swing by later and collect them"

Mark nods gently and Donghyuck rubs his arm warmly, "your other folder is on the kitchen counter, you dropped it just outside our door, don't worry, you've got everything, you're going to be okay" 

Donghyuck drops a kiss on Mark's shoulder before shuffling backwards along their carpeted floor so that his back is against the sofa with Mark in between his legs, slumped against Donghyuck's chest, both of them so close that Donghyuck could feel Mark's heartbeat, and he assumes vice versa. 

"You should get some rest" Donghyuck whispers, nuzzling his nose into Mark's neck. Usually Mark would push him off, his blush painting his face bright red, but today, Mark lets Donghyuck have his way with him, only sighing in content when the younger pulls him impossibly closer. 

Mark's reply comes as a hum, and initially that's all Donghyuck thinks he's getting, but then Mark pulls away and Donghyuck's arms fall limp at his side as he watches Mark clumsily turn himself round so that he's sat cross legged facing Donghyuck.

Mark reaches out, cupping his boyfriends face in his hands and managing a small smile, "not tired though"

Pressing their foreheads together, Mark's hands move to clasp around Donghyuck's neck wanting to pull him closer, but the younger just throws his head back chuckling as Mark whines softly. 

"You need rest" Donghyuck reiterates, "you've been through a lot recently-"

"What I need.." Mark starts, his hands moving to Donghyuck's cheeks, ".. is to _relax_ "

Mark surges forward, connecting their lips together and melting instantly as Donghyuck wraps his arms tightly around him once again. Hands are planted firmly on his waist, rubbing his sides as they kissed languidly, softly. Donghyuck knows that Mark isn't always comfortable expressing himself with words, and so Mark's 'thank you' is usually in the form of physical affection, and usually in the privacy of their own apartment. Donghyuck doesn't mind though if Mark keeps kissing him like that. 

Donghyuck squeezes Mark's sides, eliciting a gasp from the other so that Donghyuck can pull away, choosing to now leave a couple of light kisses on his boyfriends neck. 

"Imma go run you a bath" Donghyuck mumbles against Mark's skin which causes the other to shake subtly due to the ticklish nature of Donghyuck's kiss- which only makes his boyfriend kiss him again, this time on his collarbone. 

Mark hums a response before lifting Donghyuck's chin up for him to slot their lips back together in a simple kiss. 

Now that Mark had Donghyuck, everything seemed more bareable. Every panic attack, every 'blue' day- a term Donghyuck thought up to describe when Mark feels like everything's falling apart, when his thoughts begin to get too loud- every hurdle Donghyuck has been there to help him over. 

He's been there to reassure him, to comfort him, to just hold Mark together on the bad days. He's been there on the good days too, obviously, Mark stands firm in his belief that he's the reason why there has been so many good days recently.

He's everything Mark has ever wanted, ever needed. His sense of humour, his compassion, his overflowing enthusiasm to make sure Mark knows that he's safe, that he's _loved_. 

Mark only hopes that he can reciprocate how much Donghyuck makes him feel loved. 

Donghyuck pulls away, but before Mark could chase after him, he pecks his lips, once, twice, Mark starts to loose count. But then Donghyuck's pulling away again, smug at how pliant his boyfriend gets whenever they kiss, and pushing Mark gently away so that Donghyuck can then get up. 

"I'll call you when it's ready?" He asks and Mark nods, watching as Donghyuck saunters into their bathroom.

Mark sits there for a moment, legs folded as he takes a deep breath, the only other sound heard was the faint running of water across the apartment. 

He'd done it- he'd made it through it. 

Mark takes another breath, counting in and out, just like he'd learnt, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards as he doesn't feel the same sharp pain as before, it was numb now, and it was gradually vanishing. 

On his third breath Donghyuck calls him for his bath, and almost like a routine, Mark makes a beeline for their room just to grab a hoodie and some shorts to change into afterwards before joining Donghyuck in the bathroom- the other already in the bath.

The two don't talk, not until Mark's back in Donghyuck's arms, sighing happily, "thank you"

Donghyuck splashes Mark, laughing as his boyfriend shudders, before gently brushing his nose against Mark's neck, "You said that you'd tell me if you felt that things were getting out of hand" 

The younger pulls away and waits for Mark to continue, "I know.. I know and I'm working on it, really" 

Donghyuck hums, dropping his lips back onto Mark's neck, "You may be fully capable Markus Lee-" Mark is shushed before he can even interject, "But you're also a dork who doesn't know his own limits..." 

Mark slumps against Donghyuck, muttering an apology which is promptly cut off, "I told you never to apologise for your panic attacks... we're in this together, okay? you're stuck with me" Mark wants to turn around and face Donghyuck, to look into his eyes before he kisses him silly, but for the moment he just wants to be held, to feel Donghyuck's arms around him, holding him. 

Mark reaches for Donghyuck's hands, tightening them around him so that they're pressed flush against each other, "thank you", Mark repeats which the other huffs at but Mark needs to say it and he needs to know that Donghyuck's heard it, "thank you and I love you" 

Donghyuck promptly softens, a smile gracing his face, "I love you too... now can you help me wash my hair?"

**Author's Note:**

> GUESS WHOS GOING TO SEE NCT127 TOMORROW!!!  
> I'm super excited and so I really wanted to get this out there beforehand hence why it's a little rushed..
> 
> In terms of fics I'm working on I've got this super fluffy college boyfriend/ vampire nohyuck au I've got going on and also a vampire markhyuck one which is gonna be a lot of fun. 
> 
> Anyways as always, thank you for reading and please do comment and leave kudos !!


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